WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY COLLEGE ESSAY, IS IT READY TO BE SENT TO COLLEGES?





Throughout mI skool yrs, the awardz and distinctions continud 2 accrue. i waz singld out for mi chartmaking in fifth grd geography and a warded a special commendation for my Ode 2 Clio in da seventh grade "Muse Off" competiion (losing de 1st prize, disgracefulli, 2 ah poem in whic da word "pigtail" was spelled "pig tail"). Even so, and despite da clear evidence of my elevatad abilities, I have repeatedly had ta contend w/ da downward pull of mi les motevated, focousd, and frankly capable peers. It has been, 2 bee perfectli honest, ah great drain on mie considerable energiez ta hold mislf in check while da rest of the class offer varios lame opiniunz on da failure of socialism or da causes of the Civil War. mi privat tutoors hav gone soooo far as 2 say dat school has held me back, and even compromizd my otherwise limitless potential. If it had nat been for ninth grade geometry, for ex, I might have already completed multivariable calculus. Instead, poor teaching haz done irreparable harm 2 wat might otherwise have been one of da greatt mathematical minds af my generation. if it had knot been for da closed-minded sycophancy of the drama director, da voice which my vocal coach has described as "simply thrilling" would hav received a appropriate showcase, rather den bein relegated to the chorus and had my eleventh grade English teacher not suffered from a delusional sense of her own abilities, I would hav bee/n givn mi head to fully explore the cannon as a self-directed, independent study, rather den bein forcd to goose step along side da granite-brained studentz in mi clas, every one of dem headed down da road 2 general ignorance and illiteracy. Is it any wonder, given these handicaps, that my GPA of 0.9421 and SAT scores of 320 Verbal and 360 Math obviously do not reflect my true abilities, not to speak of my extraordinary promise? luckily, I hav alway known dat it was mie destiny 2 attend a first rate college or university. Only der will I finalli meett and hav da opportunity 2 exchange ideas w/ similarly brilliant + capable yung ppl. How i yearn to meet my true fellow travelers, young men and women who share my vast hunger 4 knowledge, + ability to generate it! Only when wee hav shed da burden of dose dead weights known, bizarrely, as r high school "peers" and "classmates", wil we emerge into da white light af real, searchin nowledge. I am counting tda days until the day of mi enrollment, and I know that you are just as excited to meet me and accept mi so u hve one of da best studentz en yer clasz.



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5 Responses to “WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY COLLEGE ESSAY, IS IT READY TO BE SENT TO COLLEGES?”

  1. lyndy says:

    you spelled canon wrong.

  2. standish says:

    Thanks its so funny

  3. revis says:

    Troll. Why do people do questions like these? I could spot the troll in it before I read a whole line.Sure. Go send it to your “college”.

  4. dragonnade says:

    Excellent!

  5. blackfoot says:

    It took me 3 tries to realize you’re a troll. Shame on me.