My dad has not loved me since he met his wife?





I have just turned 15 years old and I live with my dad and his wife. My mother died back in June of last year and my dad and I were in shock because she had not been sick and one day she was just dead she suffered a pulmonary embolism. She and my dad had been married for ten years and together for sixteen. About a month after my mum died I went back to school and I struggled to adjust to life without her. About three months after my mum died dad met a new woman and withing a few days she had moved in with us and they got engaged. My dad said that she will make us happy and that I will have a new mother. She is very nasty to me she calls me a baby when I cry about my mum and tells me I have to call her mum. She yells at me when I look at pictures of my mum or talk about my mum. I have talked to my dad and he just tells me to stop being spoiled and get over my mums death and that I have a mum now and there is no need to talk about my real one. When they got married after being together two and a half months I did not go to the wedding and I did not celebrate with them. Since the wedding she has gotten pregnant and they are having a son. I am really upset my dad does not care about me anymore he does not care how I feel and he wont even talk to me and yells when I call his wife by her name. He said that she is going to be a good mother to me and that my brother will not be my half brother he will be my full brother. I only have my grandparents to talk to about my mum because she was their daughter. They have tried to talk to my dad about things and him and his wife kicked them out and I have not been aloud to speak to them until last week. I had a school assembly and I was asked to read a poem I wrote by my English teacher and it was that specific one she wanted me to read in front of the whole school about my dad and his wife. I slagged them both off and said I hated them which is true. My dad and his wife and my grandparents were called into the principal's office with my English teacher. Because of my English essays I had written she knew how I felt. My dad and his wife refused to let me go and live with my grandparents and now I don't know what to do. My English teacher and my principal don't know what to do because English is the only subject I do well in now because of everything that has happened.I have lost all love and respect for my dad I poured my heart into the poems and essays I have written and he still sides with his wife. Their son Bryce is due in a couple of months and I hate living where I live. Please help me I am so upset my teachers and grandparent know but cant do anything about it.



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8 Responses to “My dad has not loved me since he met his wife?”

  1. phobic says:

    My heart goes out to you. It is at precisely the wrong stage of your life that such an abominable thing should be happening to you. I know from personal experience (and with the benefit of many decades hindsight I’m sorry to say) that what happens to you in your teens has an effect on the rest of your life. It’s futile to suggest you should put your real mother behind you – after all she bore you and you should be forever thankful to her for that whether she’s living or dead and your father’s fancy of a few months will never take her place even if she were to be as nice as pie. There’s no simple answer to the predicament you are in – in my case I toughened up, concentrated on my own objectives, and only came back to my family when I was strong enough to do so on my terms. You are very young to have to face this choice but consider your own future and what you want out of it. Derive what support you can from your father and step-mother (surely they can’t deny you that) but don’t let their emotional blackmail get in the way of the path you have set yourself. It may seem harsh, especially at your tender age, but clearly you aren’t going to get any encouragement from any other source. Your grandparents and teachers may be well meaning but are essentially powerless to help with your personal circumstances but may be well placed to assist you in moving forward to the next phase of your life. University is only two or three years away but you are obviously an intelligent and articulate girl and well placed to take maximum advantage of the opportunity that it will afford you although you must be sufficiently emotionally secure to cope with the challenges so you must overcome the present difficulties with positive thoughts about how such a need to stand on your own two feet will benefit you in future rather than hold you back.

  2. unsingled says:

    Don’t call CPS! That is the DUMBEST piece of advice EVER. If anything, it will just end up creating MORE problems by pushing your family FURTHER apart. They could even put you in FOSTER care and YOU DON’T WANT THAT. Talk to a family counselor or grief counselor NOT THAT THOUGH! GEEZ! Report Abuse

  3. bursted says:

    I felt sorry for you. Someone well said a woman has capbility to either make home or cam destroy it. So, here u r isolated soul in your own home.I must say talk to your father n let her know how do you feel right now and what is going with you. Keeping ur mom pix with urself is not badn should not be thrme reason of yelling. Your father perhaps just blindfolded by his new wife love which might not be true to you.Let him know by communication and if required live with ur grandmother and father will be the best option.”I don’t know why Man marry again if has already a female in the form of daughter to share his space! If really a man loves someone he won’t give her place to anyone I believe cuz I myself a Man!

  4. genderer says:

    With all your problems you have to take comfort from the people who show you love…. Your Grandparents and your teachers.. The school might be able to find other help like a social worker.Things might change once you are 16. You might be given more freedom to make your own choices, like moving to your Grandparents.You have something to look forward to… a new brother. He will love you to bits… and one day when he has a bad time with your dad and his mum, he might need you to help cheer him up. He will think you are amazing.I don’t know why your and step-mum can’t deal with your grief…. maybe they tried… or maybe they think that moving on is the best way. They don’t seem to realise that it’s too soon for you to move on.Keep on going and try to be the best that you can… Do your best for your real Mum, make her proud, make your grandparents and teachers proud. You are going through a really difficult time, but you can come through it and hold your head up high and be proud of your good English results.

  5. varicoid says:

    If you tell your school that you feel unsafe living there and feel that you are being emotionally harassed by your father and his wife (which it sounds like) they can go to child protective services and your grandparents could then file for custody.Depending on WHERE you live, when/if it all went to court, you would probably have a say in where you wanted to be (which sounds like you don’t want to be with your father anymore).It’s very unfortunate what has happened to you and your family, but don’t blame yourself. Your father clearly has problems of his own and instead of dealing with the death of his wife, he tried to make the pain go away by replacing her with a new woman. Eventually that pain will catch up with him if he doesn’t deal with it…

  6. rednecks says:

    First of all, i am really sorry about your mum.secondly, your dad will always love you, the reason he dosnt want you to live with your grandparents is because he loves you.Maybe your dad gets angry when you talk about your mum because he still loves her and misses her but he knows he has to get on with his life and as horribl as it may seem, you do too.I know it seems kind of cringey and odd but the wayy i think of it, is that every breath i take, i am closer to freedom. Maybe spend more time with your step mum and get to know her. Im sure she would like that. Also spend time with your baby brother and friends :) it will keep your mind off things.Also when my grandpa passed away, i kept a little notebook of his pictures and theres one by my bed so he can watch over me.hope i helpedxxxxxx

  7. grumped says:

    It sounds like your dad coped with your mom’s death by finding.g a ‘replacement’. Nobody can replace your mom and you shouldnt have to call your stepmom mom because she isn’t your mom. Cry when you want, look at your mom’s pictures when you want. Death is hard on love ones and nobody should say not to cry over a loved one. Talk to your grandparents often because they also miss her.

  8. eriocaulaceous says:

    He does love you, he is your dad Talk to him, does he know how you feel?