How can I not use “I” in my essay that much?





I use "I" too much in my short story essay.I'll give you the first paragraph of my essay:I am a mother, a mother of one. I've been living in this dark, dark place. I see strangers around me. They have these very sharp things that pierce through my skin. I don't know what's happening. I've been here for years and I've found a way out. I'm in a hallway and I can see light at the end. I am finally outside. There is a child in front of this building. That child is my daughter, Karen.As you can see, there is a lot of "I" in the paragraph.How can I not use it and still make it a complete sentence.



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4 Responses to “How can I not use “I” in my essay that much?”

  1. showbiz says:

    It sounds good, Keep the “I”

  2. superoanterior says:

    Use “I” as an implied subject, or combine some of the sentences so the number of “I”s are decreased.I’m in a hallway and I can see light at the end. Finally outside, there is a child in front of this building.I am a mother, a mother of one; living in this dark, dark place.The first sentence shows how the “I” can be implied and dropped. The second shows how combining could work.

  3. helter-skelter says:

    Most such stories are written about someone, not yourself. In that case, you would use “she.”Example:The woman was alone in the darkness, not alone, but alone among strangers. She could not remember how long she had been in that prison, but it seemed like years. What you wrote is a very brief sketch of the start of a story. I could expand what you had into several pages and not even be halfway through telling the story. Instead of simply saying, “she is a mother,” you should have her do or say something that tells us that she is a mother and tells us something about her family relationship. Example:Sometimes at night, when she woke from a restless sleep, she would think back to her life before her imprisonment. She remembered her daughter’s hair, but could not remember the sound of her voice. The though made her feel guilty. It was one more of the things her captors had taken from her.To write this in the first person is a conscious decision you must make as a writer. It has to serve some purpose for you to deviate from the formula expected by your audience.

  4. polysomatic says:

    If it’s a personal narrative, there’s no problem using I. If you told this story in the third person, it would sound inauthentic and very weird indeed.