How is my English Essay?





I had to do an essay about a book I read for my english summative so I read the curious incident of the dog in the night time. please read my essay tell me how it is and if you have found any errors?Disability is a matter of perception. If you can do one thing well, you’re need by someone. In "The curious incident of the dog in the night-time" by Mark Haddon, Christopher, the main character, is very intelligent even though he has autism. Firstly because throughout the book he solves very complicated problems, secondly, the way he observes situations and thinks all the time and lastly, his ability to create maps.Christopher has to be a very intelligent boy because he was able to solve problems like "The Monty Hall Problem" (Pg 62-65). He explains the problem in two different methods, a visual way and a mathematical way which makes it easier for the reader to understand no matter what kind of learner they are. Another problem Christopher solves is "Conway’s Soldiers" (Pg 146-148). This problem is very difficult and hard to solve without bursting your brain.As you read Christopher’s narration throughout the book he seems to be a very observant and a logical person. He has a theory about good days and bad days based upon the color of the car and the amountof cars he sees. Even though this may sound like a very ridiculous theory and most likely be untrue, it is a very well thought out theory because of the amount of detail it has. Also, the way Christopher disproves heaven is very interesting because he not only states the typical theory of what a lot of atheists believe but also adds a piece from his mind by using science as an example (CH 61) proving that he must be smart enough to be able to comprehend his own beliefs and explain them easily with logic.Throughout the story Christopher tends to create maps in his mind when he is in new places. For example, when Christopher is at the train station he creates a map in his mind of the station so he can remember how to get around (CH 191). This proves that not only is Christopher intelligent but he is much smarter than the average human being. This is because Christopher is a logical learner but he also has the ability to show some type of problem through visual learning. Many people usually only mostly learn in one way but it is possible that you can use different types of learning styles to learn but this usually applies to an average human being with no learning disabilities but when a child with autism has the ability to learn in many ways it is not expected. In conclusion, Christopher is a very intelligent boy because he can solve some very complicated problems, secondly, the way he thinks and lastly, his ability to create maps in his mind. Autism is considered a disability but studying a child like Christopher its seems like autism must be an ability. By: Anum Riaz



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4 Responses to “How is my English Essay?”

  1. mistime says:

    Here are just some minor edits…sorry it’s so much but this is really an awesome essay and I want to help you get the best grade possible :) in the second sentence change “you’re need” to “you’re needed”.Be sure to capitalize the story title – “The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime”.The 4th sentence is a fragment – to fix this change “Firstly because” to something on the lines of “You can tell because, firstly,” or something like that. Then it won’t be a fragment :) In the 3rd paragraph, in the sentence “This is because Christopher is a logical learner but he also has the ability to show some type of problem through visual learning” I’m not really sure what you mean by “the ability to show some type of problem”…did you mean “solve some type of problem”? Maybe I’m just not getting it, heh.In the sentence right after that, “Many people usually only mostly learn in one way” the phrase “usually only mostly” is very repetitive. You don’t need all 3 of those words…try saying “Many people usually learn in only one way” or something along those lines.Also that same sentence is very, very long – definitely a run-on. In the part where it says “it is possible that you can use different types of learning styles to learn but this usually applies to an average human being ” try breaking it up into two sentences, like “it is possible to use different types of learning styles to learn. But this usually applies to an average human being” In the conclusion sentence, “In conclusion, Christopher is a very intelligent boy because he can solve some very complicated problems, secondly, the way he thinks and lastly, his ability to create maps in his mind. ” The list is a little shaky, and especially since you’ve already used a list using the words “firstly” and “secondly” earlier in the essay, try changing it just a little to say “In conclusion, Christopher is a very intelligent boy because of his skills in solving some very complicated problems, his way of thinking, and his ability to create maps in his mind.” And finally (sorry, I just have to be the grammar police) in the first part of the last sentence, “Autism is considered a disability but studying a child like Christopher its seems like autism must be an ability.” Add the word “after” between “but” and “studying” – it makes the first and second parts of the sentence match up. But that is definitely a really great closing sentence. This essay is excellent and it makes me really want to find this book and read it! It makes Christopher sound like a kid I’d want to know for myself. I will definitely read that book.

  2. evaporating says:

    idk if you should use so much transitional words but its good.some punctuation errors but other than that its good

  3. sensating says:

    TLDR

  4. mentioning says:

    okay. well there are a few errors in here. first sentence: need= needed. fix that. secondly, your thesis is not the best. it is based on the idea that autism and retardation are the same, which they are not. autism is a social disorder that doesn’t affect intelligence the way mental retardation does. so your argument doesn’t make much sense. But judging by the grade level you’re writing at, it will most likely be acceptable, I would re-word it though. “Christopher displays his intelligence through his ability to solve complicated problems, his methods of thought and observation, and his ability to create maps.” is more concise. a lot of this paper is summary? which doesn’t really prove anything unless you reiterate it back into the thesis. so your opening sentences should look a little more like “Christoper’s ability to visualize new places contributes to his intelligence”… then say how. so the fact that he did something doesn’t prove it unless you tell me how. your conclusion and your introduction are virtually identical. change one or the other. P.S. it sounds like Christopher was an idiot savant.