Can Anyone grade my SAT essay please…?





The topic is "Is deception justified?"My response is..."Honesty is always the best policy" may be a trite saying, but it holds an enormous amount of truth. Though deception often allows one to escape immediate repercussions the truth will always emerge. In most situations, one will find that deception does not offer the same long term benefits as honesty does. Sometimes deception is in form of the white lies. For instance, my cousin was invited for her friend’s wedding and she asked for my opinion on her dress. Her dress was a hideous creation; it looked like a mass of cabbages sewn together. But I smiled and told her that the dress was beautiful anyway. How could I ruin her excitement over the dress? Looking back at that moment, I probably should have told her the truth, considering that the guests laughed at her. She had trusted me to give an honest, helpful opinion, but, instead, I led her to humiliation. With regards to more serious matters, however, deception can lead to more dire consequences. Cheating on a test, for instance, may result in failure of a class or expulsion from school. My friend had helped his best friend cheat on a math test, but confessed the truth to the teacher immediately afterwards. The teacher only forced the two boys to retake the test because she appreciated their honesty. If my friend had not approached his teacher, he might have been kicked out of school. Furthermore, my friend’s decision serves as an example of morality to his friend and other students. Thus, he saved his friend from more serious punishment, which would have been his justification for lying anyway. Despite these advantages to telling the truth, deception can still be rather tempting. For instance, how can one explain the death of a relative to an innocent child? Is it justified to lie to him in order to protect him from the harshness of reality? Should a child know about war of life? If one gives children sugar-coated versions of truth, they may feel even greater shock when they discover the facts. Deception is often a kind, protective gesture, but truth can prepare the child for the future. If revealed gradually, truth offers valuable knowledge. Thus, one can view deception as a sweet cookie. It is like a cookie that satisfies hunger and gives immediate pleasure. However the cookie will only cause poor health in future. Similarly, deception appears to be a justifiable and sometimes even compassionate, but it only holds future problems



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4 Responses to “Can Anyone grade my SAT essay please…?”

  1. bishop's says:

    not good, make it interesting. When I visited UVA, Duke, UNC chapel hill, Michigan, and Notre dame they all agreed that keeping the essay new and interesting is more important than excessive vocab use. In other words: Show me, dont tell me.

  2. bisonte says:

    F-

  3. factorial says:

    needs a little work on making it interesting

  4. ovotestis says:

    Pretty good! I like the examples, but you need a better introduction and grabber, and better grammar. Other than that, pretty good. Report Abuse